Is ?Power? a Dirty Word?

Part I

When it comes to intimacy, it sometimes seems like power is a dirty word.? I?ve noticed that when I?m talking to women about sexuality, and I bring up the theme of power, many women react to that word with revulsion.? In the realms of sexuality and gender dynamics, the word ?power? has become associated with force, domination, control, coercion, and manipulation.

In other words, ?power? brings up images of the abuse of power, which involves having power over someone else and using that power to harm.? Certainly, many women have been hurt by someone who misused their power, and historically, women living in patriarchal cultures have experienced centuries of violence and oppression at the hands of men. ?But let?s not throw away our own power, just because we don?t want to associate ourselves with those who have perpetrated abuse.

It?s especially important that we claim our personal power in the realm of intimate relationships and sexuality.? ?In the 60?s, with the advent of ?The Pill?, we began claiming the power of reproductive choice.? Through the ?Sexual Revolution?, we began claiming the power and freedom to explore our own sexual desires. ?And through ?Women?s Lib?, we began claiming equal power with men, in our society.? Yet, here we are in the 21^st century, and in the privacy of our intimate relationships, women are still giving away their power.

It can be subtle and so automatic that we don?t even notice we?re doing it?saying ?Yes? when we really want to say ?No??stuffing our anger so we don?t rock the relationship-boat? giving up our own desires, to support our partners?. ?If we abandon ourselves, in little ways, day after day, it?s easy to lose touch with what we really need.? How can we stand up for ourselves if we don?t know what we want or we?re afraid to speak our truth?

Empowerment in intimate relationships starts with your personal power.? First, you need to know yourself, including your feelings, your old patterns, your body, your attitudes and beliefs, your needs and wants, and your connection with Spirit. You also need to know your own limits: What are you willing to experience? ?What are you not willing to experience? ?When is someone crossing your boundaries? Communicating from a place of power requires the courage to share your thoughts, feelings, and desires, openly and honestly. ?Empowerment means being able to say ?No? so you can get to an authentic ?YES!?

So, let?s think of some associations with the word ?power? that promote healthy relationships.? I like to use the 4 elements as a model for empowerment:

• Fire: The power of passion, creativity, playfulness, and Spirit!
• Earth: The power of confidence, sensuality, skillfulness, and mastery
• Air: The power of ?choice, finding your voice, communication, and negotiation
• Water: The power of emotional bonding, feeling your feelings, love, trust, compassion, and forgiveness

I encourage you to bring all 4 elements of your power into your intimate relationship, so that you can share all of who you are and connect, deeply, with all of who your partner is.? When you bring more of your power into your relationship, you can also experience more love, passion, pleasure, and soul-satisfaction!

In Part II of this article on power, we?ll look at the ups and downs of power dynamics in the realm of sexuality.

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Source: http://www.soulvisionconsulting.com/blog/is-power-a-dirty-word/

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